Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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