I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
