Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
