Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
