is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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