Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize