You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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