that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
