You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
