I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
