This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
