Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
