You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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