why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize