i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
