I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
