I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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