I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm like, not good at living.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
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