Three words: puerto rican gang bang
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
