So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
