apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
