..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
