Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
