just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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