remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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