We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
