all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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