ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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