Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
