im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
