her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My dick has a subreddit
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize