fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
