you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
