508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
