Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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