I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
