I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
