the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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