Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize