You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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