my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
