Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
