just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
