Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
