It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
