Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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