I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
