this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize