You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
