I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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