my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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