look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
