He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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