dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
