Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
