who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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