Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
