I think I am morally bankrupt
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
