He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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