Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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