After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize